I had a recent run-in, a head-on collision, with hidden pride, arrogance and the fear of the Lord.
Without going into detail, the Lord opened my eyes to the pride hidden in my heart.
This pride was so ugly.
It hindered my worship to the Lord, it put up a barrier and got in the way.
I began worrying about what people think and trying so hard to maintain a certain image.
The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate. (Proverbs 8:13)
I didn’t realize that pride had crept in and taken root.
I had prided myself on my closeness with God. I found myself proud of the fact that I had offered my life to Him as a sacrifice every day, in order to spend more time with Him.
And somehow I started to subconsciously judge other believers against my closeness with the Lord.
“Oh, they’re not as spiritual as me…”
Oops.
Yes, the pride was ugly.
When my pride was confronted, a battle of control began.
It was so hard to let that thing go and give it to God; I honestly didn’t know how. The fear was so great, and I was afraid of others seeing me in a different light (which is kind of funny, since I’m sharing this story with you now…)
I just didn’t know how to give it all to God.
But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)
Pride cut into my worship and cut off my praise.
I found myself upset with God that He allowed this pride to be exposed in such a raw and painful way. I was mad at God, and it’s hard to praise and worship someone you’re upset with!
Have you ever felt that way?
If we place our trust in anything that’s not the Lord, for example, our devotion to Him, we open our hearts to pride, unrighteousness, and the fear of man.
Because we’re unconsciously looking to ourselves for our salvation, not Jesus.
It gives me a greater appreciation for this passage in Luke:
He does not thank the slave because he did the things which were commanded, does he? So you too, when you do all the things which were commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.’” (Luke 17:9-10)
In the midst of this crazy conflict of pride and fear, a song was on my heart.
“Make Me a Bethany” by Jesus Image Worship, which I’ve been singing all week.
Bethany was town or neighborhood a few miles from Jerusalem, where Mary, Martha and their brother Lazarus lived. They were friends of Jesus, and He often spent time there.
Many significant events of Jesus’ life on earth took place near this small town. Bethany is also the place where Mary anointed Jesus’s feet with her perfume.
The song “Make Me a Bethany” is about being a resting place for the Lord.
It’s about being a place where the presence of the Lord settles in as we’re filled with the Spirit.
It starts with deep reverence and awe of Him, the fear of the Lord, and a heart of continual repentance as we allow Him to do His purifying work in us.
I had been asking the Lord to remove the fear of man and replace it with an even greater fear of Him. And boy did He answer!
As I was reading about Bethany, the fear of the Lord hit my heart so strongly, borderline terrifying…but in a good way.
My heart cried in that moment, “Oh my goodness, I must obey Him. He is to be honored and praised.”
I know we have this idea of Jesus as our buddy…
and yes He is my best friend, but that moment called for a deeper awareness of His holiness and lordship.
God has proven Himself as the One worth fearing.
Understand that fear of the Lord is a deep reverence, respect and awe of God, not a scary run for your life fear.
The more you experience His love and faithfulness for yourself, you actually start to be afraid to be away from Him, and afraid to do things that hurt His heart.
Fear of the Lord is also running your race unapologetically for Him. It’s keeping your gaze on Him, not looking at others, not looking to the left or the right, or behind, but running your race with your eyes straight ahead, fixed on the King.
And there’s absolutely no greater King to belong to, no greater one to follow.
Be blessed and encouraged.
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)
If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them. (John 13:14-17)
