These past few weeks I found myself in a crazy situation.
I had been praying for wisdom and discernment for my blog, wanting to lean into the Lord to hear Him better, but it was like when I did, my flesh began screaming at me. My desire for food, comfort and pleasure skyrocketed and I couldn’t fast to save my life.
I was going through the motions of prayer, worship and study, but there was no true intimacy behind it. And it hurt. And I got frustrated with God for allowing it to happen.
Because all I wanted to do was draw near.
I didn’t realize that some worldly desires had slipped in. I didn’t realize that my desire for the ministry to flourish took over and I began seeking the approval of others. I didn’t realize that I had lost the simplicity of living for Jesus. I got caught up in the flashiness of it all.
But God worked a miracle this past week in my heart.
As He encouraged me to take my seeking Him seriously, through truly fasting and truly surrendering, I began to find the answers I had been seeking.
I had been unsettled for a long time. So I found His peace. And being closer to His heart allowed me to see the revelations and ideas He’s already shown me. On top of that, during my quiet times, when I was finally able to quiet my soul enough to focus on Him, forgetting the world and what was going on around me, even the cares of my heart, He began to download fresh ideas and revelations to me.
And then I realized: I’m here to serve Him.
We were created to worship Him. To seek Him, love Him and serve Him. To place our treasure in Him alone. To get up in the morning and look for Him. To bring Him gifts and let Him fill us with His joy. It’s then and only then that we will receive the answers to those big prayers we’ve been praying.
It’s then and only then we’ll receive that joy and peace and rest that we’ve been looking for.
But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:33
